absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
