One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
