After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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