My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
