I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
