so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
