Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize