u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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