Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
