I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
third nipple confirmed
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
