I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
