So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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