i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
