Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
