one might say we're banned from that church
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
