I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
