I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
