so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
