I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
