I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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