Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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