Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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