I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think your dad took our porno
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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