I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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