the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Thank you for not boning my boss.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
