video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
