Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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