If i come over, it means nothing
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize