Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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