Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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