That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
