I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
