Will you blow on my dice?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
