I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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