I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
