Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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