like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
