I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
