I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize