I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
