did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
