apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
