the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
