He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
