we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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