I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
