I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So gin and wine won't be happening again
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Success! We fucked roommates!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
