What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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