I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
