we have officially lost it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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