I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
