We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
