Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize