cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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