on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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