She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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