i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
