Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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