Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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