don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
