he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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