You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
