You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
